Military Divorces

Serving in the military can bring unique challenges for families, especially during deployment, separation, or divorce. Colorado law and federal protections make sure military parents and spouses are treated fairly in family court.

This guide explains how custody, support, retirement, and benefits are handled when a service member or veteran is involved. It also shows where to find free or low-cost legal help.

This information is for general education only and is not legal advice.

Can I give someone temporary custody during my deployment?  

A deployed parent can let a trusted adult — like a grandparent or stepparent — care for the children during their parenting time.

• The court must approve this temporary plan.
• Once the deployed parent returns, the original parenting plan automatically goes back into effect unless both parents agree to extend the temporary plan.
   

What happens after I return from deployment?

Once the deployed parent returns, the original parenting plan automatically goes back into effect unless both parents agree to extend the temporary plan. Courts handle these cases quickly to help parents and children reconnect.

Before deployment, the parent who is leaving must give reasonable notice and share deployment orders with the other parent.

Both parents should make a written plan covering:

• Who will care for the children during deployment
• How communication will happen
• How decisions will be made while the parent is away
   

Courts encourage virtual visitation through video calls, phone calls, or messages to keep children connected to their deployed parent.

How do I choose  a temporary caregiver?

A deployed parent can give another adult temporary authority to care for their children.

• The court must approve it first
• It ends automatically when the parent returns.

I am deployed and can’t go to court. What should I do?

If deployment prevents a parent from attending a court hearing:

• The court must delay the case or allow participation remotely.
• A parent’s absence due to military duty can’t be used against them.
• Courts generally can’t issue default rulings in family or civil cases while a service member is deployed and unable to appear.
   

What if there’s a dispute?

Colorado courts can enforce custody or parenting orders and resolve disagreements. When deployment is a factor, the court must act fairly and handle the case quickly.

What happens to military retirement benefits in a divorce?

Military retirement pay is considered marital property, but only the portion earned during the marriage can be divided.

• Colorado courts look at how much of the service time and marriage overlapped.
• The state can divide retirement only if the service member lives in Colorado, filed for divorce here, or agrees to Colorado’s authority.
• If the overlap is less than 10 years, the service member must pay the ex-spouse’s share directly.
• Disability pay — from the VA or military — belongs only to the veteran and cannot be divided.
   

What income counts for child support and spousal support?

Both military and non-military income count when calculating income to determine child support or maintenance. Maintenance is money a judge may order one spouse to pay the other after a divorce. Colorado calls this maintenance instead of alimony or spousal support. 

For active-duty service members, income may include:

• Base pay
• Housing and food allowances (BAH and BAS)
• Special or skill-based pay
• Bonuses
• Other income not tied to military service
   

For retirees or veterans, income may include:

• Military retirement pay
• VA disability payments
• Civilian wages, pensions, or other income

Retirement and insurance terms to know

• Thrift Savings Plan (TSP):
  • A military retirement savings account similar to a 401(k). It can be divided as marital property.
• Servicemembers Group Life Insurance (SGLI):
  • Life insurance for active-duty members. Only the service member can choose or change the beneficiary.
• Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP):
  • An option that allows a former spouse to receive payments after the service member’s death if elected during divorce.
• GI Bill Benefits:
  • Education benefits that belong to the service member. They cannot be divided in divorce.

What happens to healthcare coverage after a military divorce?

Children:

Children of service members stay eligible for TRICARE after divorce because they are still dependents.

Former spouses:

• Can buy temporary TRICARE coverage after divorce (similar to COBRA after leaving a job).
• May qualify for lifetime TRICARE if all these are true:
  • Married to the service member for at least 20 years,
  • The service member served at least 20 years, and
  • The marriage and service overlapped for all 20 years.
    • This is called the 20/20/20 rule.
       

When should I talk to a lawyer?

You should think about talking to a family law or military legal assistance attorney if you:

• Are deploying and need a temporary custody plan
• Are separating or divorcing a service member or veteran
• Need to divide retirement or handle child support
• Have questions about TRICARE or other benefits

Need more help?

If you are low-income, a senior, or a veteran, you may qualify for free legal help from Colorado Legal Services (CLS). To apply or ask if you might qualify, go to the CLS website and find the office that serves your area. If you call or visit, CLS can help you in your native language.

You can get help from the courts. Every judicial district has staff called “Sherlocks” to help people with their legal questions. To find the Sherlock in your county, visit the Judicial Department’s Sherlock webpage.